Hosted by Empress Lila
Lila: Hi, and welcome to Reign Radio! This is Empress Lila, and I am your host. Tonight’s special guest is Coach Linda Washington-Yerby. She is the love-yourself-from-the-inside-out coach and I am super excited to be having this conversation with her tonight. We are going to be discussing how radical self-care relates to personal power and we will also be discussing her program that I just completed, called 66 Days of Lovin’. So, Linda, how are you this evening?
Linda: I am wonderful-- busy day full of pleasant surprises, and I am present and ready.
Lila: Yummy! So, let’s just jump right in there with radical self-care and how that relates to personal power. Can you give me your definition of radical self-care because when I started working with you was actually the first time that I’d heard of radical self-care, so can you talk to us a little bit about that?
Linda: Well my definition of radical self-care is when you know what you require. It’s going to be different for everyone, but it’s when you know what you require to feel balanced and present and full and your most authentic self. It means that you’ve taken the time to know yourself, to see yourself, and to give yourself what you require to feel like you are being authentic in every experience that you have.
That’s radical self care… and the reason that it’s radical is because, first of all, a lot of people don’t do it. A lot of people don’t take the time to check in and say, what’s going on with me? How am I doing? What’s happening? OK, what is my lesson? What do I need to learn from this? What do I need to give myself in this moment? What do I need the most? We’re so busy giving to others that we don’t take the time to check in and give ourselves radical self-care.
Lila: That is delicious. How did you-- I already know, but tell the audience-- how you discovered the power of radical self-care for yourself.
Linda: Through strugglin’ and flip-floppin’ and saying yes when I should say no and doing things that weren’t serving me and being a mother, really. Just being a mom. That’s where it started. Giving to my children when I didn’t have it to give. And I had to learn. I had to learn that, you know, I can’t give them what I don’t have so for me it started with taking nice sea salt baths in my big garden tub and for two hours, having my kids knock on the door and peep their heads under the door and go, “Mommy, are you OK? Are you coming out?” and I go, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll see you when I come out.” And so, for me, it took some checking in with me and giving myself… at that moment, at that time, the only thing I could give myself was a bath. I couldn’t’ afford to go to the spa. I couldn’t afford to go get a massage and do all that luxury, things people call luxury-type things so for me, my bathroom was my sanctuary. It was my place where I went to regroup, rejuvenate and create a little retreat with candles and I’d buy myself flowers and I make sure I had a tall glass of ice cold water and I had my body scrub and my lotions. So that was my spa. I created my own sanctuary. That was when my children were toddlers, and so what I’ve learned from that experience is that you train them young and as they get older-- like now my girls are teenagers, and they’re used to me going to the spa. I can afford to go to the spa now. I’ll get a massage and I’ll be gone all day. It’s what I call me-day where I take time for myself and they’re used to it. They don’t call me like they used to, you know. They don’t bother me. They know that this is Mommy’s day, and they just allow me to have it because they’ve been trained and they’re used to it now.
Lila: That’s yummy. I did the same thing. Mine were that I put pictures on the door so they know a certain picture means don’t bother Mommy, because they couldn’t read yet.
Linda: Ah, what a GREAT idea. I had a do not disturb little hangy thing that I got from someone that said do not disturb… but they couldn’t read. *laughter* All they knew is when they saw that hanging thing on the door, “She gone be in there for a while but we gone try to bring her out anyway.” *more laughter*
Lila: They learned pretty quick. So, now when I get in there-- actually, it’s super funny-- my daughter does kinda the same thing. She rounds up everybody in the house “I’m getting in the shower. Do you need to go potty?” She’s like, Don’t bother me. *laughter*
Linda: Good for her! She don’t want to be disturbed.
Lila: Exactly. She does not like to be rushed. She’s learned that if she sends everybody to the potty, she gets to have her shower undisturbed and unrushed.
Linda: That’s beautiful.
Lila: So tell us the difference in your life that the radical self-care made before you started taking your two day baths cause in my head, two hours is like *more laughter* You might as well have said, I spent two weeks in the bath tub.
Linda: That’s the best two hours ever. It really is. I used to look forward to it and put my little items in the bathroom. I’d prep everything and have it ready when it was that time. So… before then, it was giving from a place of void. Giving from, you know, yelling at my kids or not being present for them or trying to multi-task or doing too much and not giving them quality time. So what I’ve noticed is when I check in with myself and I give myself what I need, I’m more balanced and I’m more authentic. I’m more loving. I’m more kind. I’m more gentle with them. I’m more patient, which is GREAT for a mom, especially a mom of toddlers, so it’s just brought me to a place of feeling balanced. Radical self-care brought me to feeling just more balanced and more centered so I can give from that loving space.
Lila: Mmm... That is delicious and now tell us how you use radical Self-Care with your clients.
Linda: I use Radical Self-Care with my clients by checking in and finding out first of all where they are in this moment. What are the stories that they have made up? What are the challenges that they face in their life? And we come up with a very small plan of one of the things I’m learning is don’t give ‘em too much. If I give ‘em too much they ain’t gone do nothing so if I start ‘em off with something like a walk in the park with their shoes off. Take their shoes off and go walk in the grass or go hug a tree. Start em off with a 5 minute meditation or start ‘em off with a couple sea salt baths in a week. What that does for them is it helps them get in that space of honoring themselves and doing it in a way that they don’t feel so overwhelmed because I’ve given ‘em so much that they can’t do anything. So, I encourage them to practice radical forgiveness. I just give them little homework assignments that’s loving to them. That’s not going to take a lot of time but when they do it, they’re going to see the value and experience the joy of it.
Lila: That is gorgeous. I love it. I get it because I can’t do a ton of stuff. I am that person that wants to do it, wants to do it perfect, wants to do it yesterday and I used to and I am a self-professed self-help junkie. If there is a self-help book out there, I probably own it and um…I wanted to implement everything all at once and I wanted to implement it perfectly and I wanted to make sure that it was “done right” and that just made me more frustrated. It did not solve anything, but I do now have an arsenal of tools for my clients from the 17 years that I spent collecting and reading books so yeah, I definitely get that tiny snippet because yeah I definitely have bit off more than I can chew in the past.
Linda: Mhmm, and what I’ve discovered is the tools that I use are the same tools that I use with my clients and the fact that I’ve used it and when I hear my clients, my ears like, perk up. When I’m hear that they say overwhelmed: OK, sea salt bath. When I hear them thinking too much: OK, go out in nature. So what I’m learning is that when I do my work, it helps to pre-pave the work for my clients because then I know what tools to use for them when I hear certain things from them because I’ve used them myself and I know that they work.
Lila: Absolutely. OK um… can you relate radical self care to personal power?
Linda: Mmmmmm. Absolutely! Of course. If you are practicing radical self-care, then you are in your most authentic self. You’re in your balanced self. So, when you make decisions and you make choices, they’re better. You get better results and you have more powerful experiences and you’re more in alignment with Source, with God, with the Universe and things flow a lot better. That’s power! That’s power. So radical self-care actually taps you into Source, to Spirit and to help make life easier for you. So you can … when you a decision, a choice, when you’re doing something you experience more flow and less struggle. Does that make sense?
Lila: That makes perfect sense. Um…it is similar to how I feel like getting to know yourself. Radical self Care is one of the ways that we get to know ourselves and at Empress U, that is the foundational piece to owning your power is getting to know yourself because if you don’t know who you are and what you want out of life, you really can’t embody your inner empress. So, yes it makes perfect sense. Um… 66 Days of Lovin’. Can we talk about it? I’m so excited! I didn’t tell you this earlier. I got my certificate in the mail today. I was like, yaaaaay!
Linda chimes in: Yaaaaay!
Linda: Congratulations on a successful completion. *chuckle*
Lila: Thank you very much. September was kick ass for me…
Linda: Yes it was. *chuckle*
Lila: and I got to see how amazing it was when I had to do my final project.
Linda: Mhm! That’s why it’s so important for the completion of the final project because that brings it all home. It brings it all together and it causes you to look at things and say, “I did that. I did that. Oh I did that, too!” Mmmm… You start feeling good. Gives you some momentum and some energy to do some more things. So, that’s awesome!
Lila: I started giggling and twirling and yeah, it brought to light things that I wouldn’t have normally paid attention to AND it added another practice for me. It’s super delicious. So tell the audience all about it.
Linda: Well, 66 Days of Lovin’ is a coaching program that I offer my clients that came about when I was driving down the road and the guy on the radio said, “It takes 66 days on average to create a new habit.” I was in the process of building my next coaching program and I thought ‘Hmm… 66 days… that would be an awesome way to get folks on a jump start to something that they want to accomplish because 66 days can come and go like that. *snaps fingers* It actually goes pretty quickly…
Linda: but it also provides them with enough time to get clear because in the program, we do three things. We focus on their vision. What is their vision for their life? And then we connect that vision to an intention statement. We take one area of their life whether it’s spiritual, mental, emotional, financial and we connect that intention statement to it because we want them to focus on one thing. Although the vision is big and broad, that intention statement is measurable so they’ll be able to see some results at the end of that 66 days. And then the last thing is the timeline project, which has the actual highlights of the successful accomplishments that they have acquired over those 66 days. It can be considered like a resume or a portfolio but it gives them an idea-- and some of my students even go back before the 66 days of what they’ve accomplished and sometimes we don’t’ realize how successful we are and how powerful we are until we actually see it on paper. “I did that. Oh, I did that too!” Everything is connected to their intention and their vision statement and at the end of that 66 days, they graduate with three things. One, the time line, at the top of it had their vision statement, their intention statement and a picture of them of course and a list of all their accomplishments that they’ve accomplished over these 66 days and what I’m learning is it’s helping to build momentum. They build momentum. They take that momentum and they move on to the next project or the next intention statement and they just keep rolling. Keep it going. Keep it going.
Lila: I can definitely attest to that because um, you know, Reign Radio was supposed to start something like, what August 19th? *giggle* & I had all these reasons that were completely valid that we could not get started and then, once I saw my timeline shaping up, I was like, “Yeah, I’m starting right now.” And here we are! I’m so excited.
Linda: Good for you. I’m hoping accountability had something to do with that because one of the things I’m also learning with my groups is that, when they’re held accountable and they’ve got someone in their corner and someone that can help keep them accountable through the process it helps them to keep things moving along.
Lila: I have to confess that the accountability piece *chuckle* was not as um… what is the word I’m looking for? It was not as imperative for me because I started amping up Young Living business, and then I switched into my coaching practice and that took a whole other level of things for me. HOWEVER, just the relationship that she and I built during this process… I have no words. So a little bit more powerful for me, probably than maybe future students. Maybe they’ll take the accountability piece and run with it and it will be THAT for them, the accountability piece, but for me, I made a friend that I am going to have for the rest of my life.
Linda: Mmm. That’s beautiful and that friend’s going to hold you accountable, too. *chuckle*
Lila: Yes, she will. Yeah, so if I’m not in Barbados mid-November, I better be in Virginia going to a P!nk concert with her. *laughing* So, yeah… OK, do you have a start date for the next 66 Days of Lovin’? Because I know one just started.
Linda: Yes, um the next group will start sometime in November. Um, I haven’t chosen a date yet. I probably should do that and start marketing it. So, right now, I’m focusing on my current group of women who are actually just getting started and getting to know each other. Developing relationships and friendships and holding each other accountable for getting their intention statements done—so, to answer your question, it will be sometime in November.
Lila: Awesome. So keep your eyes peeled, people, and while we’re at it, before we get to the even juicier part, let us give the audience your contact information. How can they find where Coach Linda is and how can they find out about 66 Days of Lovin’ for the November round?
Lila: Awesome sauce! OK, now I have some questions for you. We may end up wrapping up a few minutes early because um, we are doing this privately to launch later so I just have the wrap-up questions and then we can go on to your evening.
Lila: Are you ready? Are you excited? I’m excited!
Linda: I am. Very excited.
Lila: How do you embody your inner Empress?
Linda: Oooh! I embody my inner Empress by… when I’m going shopping and I am looking for-- which I’ve been doing a lot of lately because of my events that I’m hosting and my job and-- so when I’m in the store and I’m looking at myself in the mirror and I’m trying clothes on, I’m looking for that umph! That mmm!!! *raucous laughter* In fact, when I see myself, I’m like, “Mmm, YEAH! That’s it!” *laughter*
Lila: That’s a great way to describe it! You know, I see your pictures when I’m putting things together for you and I’m like, “Oh my God, Linda’s so adorable!” So yeah, ya make that mmmh! happen in your pictures. Just sayin’.
Linda: Yeeeah, I’m coming into my own! You know, in my 40s this is a great time of year for me in terms of… especially with my age, being in my 40s now, I’m loving myself. I’m really looking at myself in the mirror as I walk by and I go, “Mmm! Girl you look gooood today. Mmmm…”
Linda: It’s that, you know, I embody my Empress by making sure that I got that mmm! feeling about myself and if I don’t have it, then I’m taking the time to get back to that space and doing the taking my sea salt baths and taking my walks and doing my meditation and you know, cause life is going to happen. Let’s be real. It is going to happen, and things get busy, especially with my coaching practice going on as well as my full-time job. My work is no matter how busy it gets, I always make sure that I’ve got what I need to be my best. That’s how I embody my Empress.
Lila: Mhmm… That is yummy. I need to move that question to the end, ‘cause I don’t want to ask you the rest of ‘em now. Um…
Linda: That was a good question.
Lila: I just wanna close out with that.
Um… What is freedom to you?
Linda: Ooh, freedom is the ability to be able to do what I want and when I want. What that looks like is, now I’m planning a trip to Fiji and this is my dream vacation and I’ve got folks on board that wanna go to Fiji too, and they’re excited, and it feels so free to be able to plan it, and put it on my calendar, and get excited about it, and hear others get excited about it and that’s freedom. and what makes it so yummy is that it’s something that I wanted to do. I’ve always wanted to do it and I’m gonna do it and so the freedom piece is very…um, it’s empowering. It really is. Knowing that I don’t just have to think it but I can actually implement it as well, and make it happen. That’s freedom.
Lila: That’s yummy. Annnnd, the next question: What is power to you?
Linda: Mmm… Power is connection to Source. Connection to God. It’s using the laws… the spiritual laws to support us in making things happen. So, I set my intention for the trip to Fiji and feel so clear, so present, so connected to Source and things start lining up and I met a travel agent. We scheduled an appointment. She sat down. She put together an itinerary. She just kept saying, “Boy, this is happening magically.” *Lila giggles* That’s power! It’s when I’m so connected to Source and so clear about what I choose that the Spiritual laws and God support me in making it happen and it happens with ease and elegance. That’s power.
Lila: That is delicious. I’m glad I didn’t take that question out cause I was looking at it like mmm…
Linda: That is a really good question.
Lila: What is sexy to you?
Linda: Mmm… Sexy to me is I can stand in the mirror and look at myself and looooove who I see. Looooove my body and my flaws and my stretch marks and all the bruises that I’ve acquired over my years into my 40s and I can say, “Mhmm, I remember that one and I love it to death. Mwah!” and kiss it. It’s when I can embrace who I am completely and just enjoy myself and not have to be a certain way in order to feel good about myself. It’s accepting myself exactly as I am now and flauntin’ my features.
Lila: You flaunt, Girl!
Lila: and, finally, what would you tell your 16-year-old self?
Linda: I would tell her to be her most authentic self. I would tell her to express herself to the world how she, in her most authentic way. So, if she wants to wear an outfit and she asks me, her mom, “Mom, how does this look?” and I don’t like it, she wears it anyway because she likes it, and it’s who she is and it represents who she is from the inside out. I would tell her to never shy away from who she is, no matter who she’s around. That being shy is a symbol that you’re not safe and secure in who you are, so I would tell her to express herself and always be comfortable speaking her truth no matter who is around. I would tell her to always put her best foot forward. When someone asks her to sing, she’s always got that song that she’s gone sing. She’s rehearsed it. She’s rehearsed it in the shower and in front of the vanity mirror and when they say sing, she’s going to bellow out those notes like never before. I would tell her to always be prepared for that opportunity so when it presents itself, she’s on point. She’s ready and she … it’s the opportunity she’s been waiting for and she’s ready to perform at her absolute best.
Lila: Mmm… I love it. I wish you were my 16 year old self’s Mama.
Ah! That is amazing. Thank you SO much. It has been absolutely delicious.
Linda: Thank you. This has been amazing for me. Very yummy. An awesome way to end my day.
Lila: I hope this isn’t the end. I hope there’s more coming.
Linda: Oh, I’m winding down.
Lila: *giggles* OK.
Linda: I gotta get my me-time in. I gotta get that me-time in.
Lila: Exactly. Well, OK everyone, this is Reign Radio, I am your host Empress Lila and we have been chatting with Coach Linda Yerby of Dynamic Revelations. You can find Reign Radio at www.facebook.com/EmpressU and just poke around on there and you can send a request to firstname.lastname@example.org to be added to the Reign Radio Facebook Group. Thank you and have a GREAT evening.
Linda: Thank you. Thank you for the work that you’re doing in the world. You’re amazing.
About the host
Empress Lila is a healing artist, spiritual life coach and writer at Empress U Spiritual Life Coaching, and it is her mission and passion to support women in living their life, their way. She believes that there is an Empress in every woman, and she is here to use 17 years’ worth of tools and studies, including Reiki-esque healing work, essential oils, scripting, prayer, meditation, accountability, humor and radical self-care, to support you in embodying the Empress within.
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